Change Your Mindset, Achieve A Better Day with Stefanie Oseni-Momodu

SPEAKERS
Rita Suzanne, Stefanie Oseni-Momodu

Rita Suzanne
Welcome to the Mom Owned and Operated podcast, the podcast about moms and for moms, where we have candid conversations about running a business, raising a family, and remembering ourselves. I’m your host, Rita Suzanne, a single mom of four, digital strategist, and provider of no nonsense business strategies and tactics. Hi, this is Rita Suzanne. And this is Mom Owned and Operated. Today I have my friend Stefanie with me. And I am so excited to hear all about your all the things, Stefanie. So please tell us more about you, your business and your family.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yes. Hey, I’m so glad to be here with your community. Thank you for having me on here, Rita. So as Rita mentioned, I am Stephanie. I am a mindset coach, and I support working moms to rediscover their identity, and do something for themselves for their future, basically, you know, go for their dreams, go for their goals or hold a space for them to do that, and absolutely. Love it. Love it.

Rita Suzanne
Oh, I love that. I love that because it’s so needed.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yes. Because, you know, especially I’m sure it’s you know, as a mom, you know, we get so busy with just mommyhood that we don’t create that space to really think about what we want for ourselves, or how to dream to diamonds. A

Rita Suzanne
Yeah, no, I agree. And I feel like Okay, so how many children do you have? And where is it located? I don’t know.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
I have two two boys, and age 5 and an 11 month old. Oh my goodness. So two young kids, and I’m married, been married for six years, I’ve got to say five years. And I’m based in the UK. So I was born in the UK. For the first five years of my life. I actually lived in Nigeria. Nice. And then came back to the UK. So I class myself as they’re Nigerian and British. Yeah, I’ve been in the UK for almost all my life basically now.

Rita Suzanne
And and obviously you love it. Are you going to be there? Right? Yeah, I

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
love it just apart from the weather. I you know, but then that’s why I have Nigeria there to know. I go back at least once a year. So yeah, that’s fun.

Rita Suzanne
I just reconnect. Right? Exactly, yeah. Oh, I wish I Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing to be able to go there. Okay, so let me ask you then, before you started being a coach, what were you doing before then?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yeah. So before that I was in finance. And technically I’m still in finance, because I’m in. I’m on maternity leave. Okay. And by law, I have to go back for three months.

Rita Suzanne
Really?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yes. So when you when they give you depending on the company you work for if you take a full maternity package, then there’s usually clause that you have to come back for three months or pay back three months worth of salary.

Rita Suzanne
Oh, okay. So they give you like, how much time like a year off? or?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yeah, they give us a year or so I took a whole year off. Yeah. And for my first son, I need to call five months. And I said no, this time around, I want to take the whole year off and just focus on me use the time to also fight right. So yeah, I’ve been working in finance for over 10 years now. And

Rita Suzanne
it’s such a contrast though you know finance and then you know the coaching for and you’re we’re in you’re working with working moms right or or entrepreneur moms

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
working moms corporate moms. Yeah. Yeah. So basically like how I’ve transitioned from being a corporate mom into entrepreneur, so helping them make that transition also and see you know, it’s totally worth it. It will totally help you create more time you know, work on your own schedule and not have to request annually from your boss because you need to attend your son’s play center. Yeah, exactly.

Rita Suzanne
I take it to the doctor. Oh my gosh, I remember when I worked in corporate it and I was just I just was planning my escape like I was just like, how am I going to do this? I said, it was almost as if like I always wanted to be an entrepreneur but I really didn’t know what I wanted to be. But as soon as I had my first son I was like I have to find a way to be with them. You know, because I would drop him off and I would just cry like I need to be with my baby. And I only got three months off of for maternity leave. So like there are maternity leave here is not as nice as

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
it is Funny thing is over here, UK, if you were to come back from maternity leave after three months, you have people looking down on you like, like you want a bad, right?

Rita Suzanne
And then after I have my second son, no, I did, I left my job and I stayed off for a year and a half. So I was able to stay time to spend time with them. But you know, it’s like, I didn’t want to go back to work. So I’m glad that there’s people, you know, coaches like you who are able to help people to, or moms to really find that transition of you know, whether they want to stay in corporate or not, you know, not everybody wants to be an entrepreneur.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yes, exactly. That’s true. So not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur. So it’s not something that, especially with me, it’s not something I foresaw and said, Oh, you need to leave the night, right? Like, you need to want it for yourself. Because I remember, that’s how your finance went. After I had my first son. I remember I said, I can’t wait to be pregnant with my second child because I can finally leave this job. Literally just waiting for the moment to be pregnant. You have a whole year of work and you say to them, okay, I’ll come back for three months. And I’m done.

Rita Suzanne
Yeah, yeah. I mean, so then as soon as you come back for three, you have to do your three months, and there’s that like you tying up like all the loose ends, and then you can leave without any constraints or anything.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
I could phrase nothing, basically. That’s awesome. It’s in the poem, really looking forward to it.

Rita Suzanne
Right, right. And I know your little ones are there, so don’t worry about anything. Um, but Okay, so besides the corporate Okay, so what is your biggest challenge? Being a mom and doing all of the things that you’re doing? Like, I know, you’re, you’re off of your finance job, but you’re still finding clients and being a coach you so it’s hard to? Is it hard to juggle?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Initially, when I first started, my first son was in school, so I’m so surprised, okay, it’s okay. And when I first started, you actually thought was my first son, it was the 11 month old

Rita Suzanne
bang in the blocks, and you’re like, stop it. He’s like, No, no, no worries. I mean, we’re all moms like this is this is what this is real life, right? This is not like a, you know, facade, and I’m not getting it out. So don’t worry.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
I will say so when I first started, when I first started my business, my first son was at school. My baby was still a baby. So he slept. I could work around his nap times, I could book meetings because I knew the time was going to sleep once has been fed, fine during my life, ej, but as he’s grown now, doesn’t have as much nap times. And then obviously COVID started. My first son is now at home. I’m homeschooling. And to be honest with you, it was a big challenge. It was a big challenge. And even though my husband’s at home as well, like he’s working, right, so I can’t say okay, you know, you have to catch them. Yeah, he tried to help as best as he could. But it was such a challenge because I still had calls like with clients that I had at the time. And, and then I had to homeschool as well. So I wasn’t As for me, I thought I wasn’t as productive as I used to be. I was just lacking in pockets of time. So it was taking me longer to get things done. But as time has gone on, I’ve you know, I’ve learned to adjust to a you know, have to wake up early in the morning or work really late at night. Yeah, to get like my core tasks done. And then with clients, obviously explained to them. I do have young kids, right. Luckily, I’ve been blessed like the clients have had so far they’re really understanding other moms, right. Yeah, exactly. So if I have to, like stop to like, do my son or I tried to do and my husband’s at home as well. So because often our first a minute just is kind of thing. But yeah, it’s definitely a struggle and it’s just finding times for you to work. Like I said, I work late at night sometimes because I know during the day and with the kids,

Rita Suzanne
right, right. That’s why I feel I mean my kids are older you know, I have four kids In 10, 11, 12, 13, right now, and they still, you know, it doesn’t get any better as they get older, right? Like, it still takes me a long time to win. If I’m trying to work while they’re here, there’s so many interruptions and so many things for me to get up and have to do or mediate, or cook, or do, you know, all of the things and it takes so much longer. And I keep trying to tell them like, Listen, if you just let me focus on this, I’ll be done so much faster. And they can’t, it’s like they can’t, you know, it’s like, No, no, no, you know, they want to interrupt me five times, and then it takes me five times as long because you have to get back into the flow of everything. And, you know, that’s the challenge is, you know, finding that, to like that, that vibe, but like I’m saying, I it doesn’t, it doesn’t get any easier at all, unfortunately, I’m sorry.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
It doesn’t get any easier. But at the same time, it’s just knowing that, you know, you can still do what you want to do, you’re still going to have those interruptions, the kids are still going to be there. There’s no one that’s going to teach you how to stop your kids interrupting you.

Rita Suzanne
Right, right. Because they’re because they want, you know, like I remember, my kids, I would be so self conscious about being on video. And I was in front of a group and teaching a class and all of a sudden, my and my boys were in the other room. And I was single, and they came running in behind me and they’re like dancing and doing all this thing. And I just had to laugh. I couldn’t do anything else except for laugh it off. And since then I’ve just I’ve just given up trying to, you know, control it.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yeah, exactly. I think that’s, for me, that’s a benefit as well working in a mom environment. I’m like, I’m sure you can understand that what’s going on? I try to minimize their interruptions as much as possible, because I’d say to a business.

Rita Suzanne
Right, right. Right, because you still want to project like being you know, professional and still like giving your clients the attention that they need. without it being like, oh, sorry, you know, exactly all the things. And so Okay, my, my whole purpose with with this Mom Owned and Operated is to really figure out how other moms are running a business and raising a family. But also how are you remembering yourself? Like that’s the biggest thing I think that gets lost once we’re doing these two big things.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yes. So for me what I currently do I actually schedule it. So I have birthdays I call it self care there. I have it in my diary. way I work anything that happened. my diary, I know I’m gonna get it done. Right. So I have it in my diary that says self care day and I just use it as a time for me basically might just be just sitting down on a bed for like half an hour, I still something. Right, right by myself, you know, or you know, not really focusing on work, just use it if I need to do works fine by the day for me. I use it those days to reflect on you know, where we’re at sometimes, where I am, sometimes I use it to just do journaling sometimes like to watch trash TV, you know what I do like that day, you know, I don’t feel pressured, Oh, my gosh, you know, I have this client today, I need to do client work today.

Rita Suzanne
Which is really, I mean, I think that that’s so important because it’s easy to get caught up in your client’s needs and forget your own needs. And that’s where you know, the stress and the burnout can kind of you know, come into play when you’re doing all of these things. And and that’s why I said I wanted to start this whole thing was because I want people to be real, honest and candid about how challenging it is to do all of these things. But it’s also so rewarding at the same time. So I don’t want to discourage anybody from being you know, an entrepreneur Mom, what I want is for us to just be real honest about it. It’s not what you think it is.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Very true. Because you know, what we see out there, you know, we see people are well packaged, you know, social media profile looking like perfect parents. Yeah. And you’re just thinking, how did they manage to do that? Is that kind of, like, drink a cup of tea? We’re by getting cold. Exactly.

Rita Suzanne
I have to warm it up like five times before.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
It’s really I really loved the idea to let people especially moms say it is completely normal to have the chaos behind you. Right.

Rita Suzanne
But we only want to showcase the you know, the idea of you know, perfection which is you know, it’s it’s unrealistic to expect that it’s going to be perfect, but

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
fix yourself up for failure because you might say Okay, you know what, yep, I want to go on this entrepreneurial journey. Let me do and are you starting that? Oh my god. This is not why All right. So

Rita Suzanne
if you knew, like, if another mom came to you, and she wanted to start her business, like, what would be your advice to her so that she would like clearly and really understand what it’s like?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
I would say to her, you know, go for it. Like, don’t worry about your circumstances right now. But don’t worry about where are you going to find the time to do this? to do that? Just do it, just start doing something. And as you go along, you’ll start to figure out what works for you know, yeah, what, what times of the day, can you work and don’t feel like you have to spend your whole day working on your business. I think that’s a common misconception that I have to work like five hours a day on my business for it to be successful. You can work one hour a day, as long as it’s like intent that one hour, right, dedicated bit intentional enough, is sometimes even better than working five hours, and you’re spending two hours procrastinating?

Rita Suzanne
I know, because that’s part of your self care, right? Because you’re like, I don’t feel. And I think a lot of times, it’s Unfortunately, the hustle mentality is like really has been drilled into people where they think, Oh, well, if I’m not working, working, working, working on my business, then maybe I don’t love it, or maybe you know, and maybe it’s not for me, or that, you know, when that’s not even the case, maybe you’re not motivated, because you’re burnt out, you know? And you know, so because of that, like, what do you How are you coaching like other moms, so that they can really do all of these things and take time for themselves?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yeah, so that’s what I like to say is like, prioritize what exactly is it that you want to achieve? Now let’s start working on bits, little bits at a time, let’s get clear on exactly what do you want to do? What do you love doing, you know, enjoy the most is really important, you do something that you enjoy as well, or you’re not doing it because you’re seeing other people doing it? Whereas, you know, people making money from it? What do you really enjoy the most?

Rita Suzanne
Or assuming that they’re making money off of it, right?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yeah, just, you know, game cleaner? And also, why why do you want to do it. Because when you have that reason, then you’re motivated to find time in the day to do this. And there are going to be activities, you know, that’s not fun. But because you know, what your end goal is, you know, you’ll find a way to do it. Right, right, find a way to do it, and, you know, look at tasks that you don’t really need to do. Especially when you’re new into business, you want to do this, you want to try this, you want to try this strategy. And what I’m there is to tell you, you know what, you don’t need to do everything at the same time. Let’s just focus on that, you know, and be realistic about how much time you can actually dedicate a day, right? I want you to tell me, okay, Stephanie, you know what? To be honest with you, I can only do two hours a day. And I’m not going to say to you, no, no, no, riccar you need to do five hours a day, let’s work those two hours, ways I can help you prevent yourself from being burnt out from being overwhelmed as well, because, you know, I’ve been through it so I can share with you my experience, so that you don’t make mistakes that maybe myself or other clients I’ve worked with have made as well.

Rita Suzanne
Yeah, because I think that a lot of times, we I feel like I’m more productive if I’m only taking those two, three hours of focus time versus the eight hours of again, interruptions and, and then that’s when I’m feeling burnt out. And I always make sure that I take off the weekends, because if I don’t Yeah, 100% you know, but when I first when I first started, I just was working like crazy. I was like, I get up out of bed, but you know, a mess. You know, like walking around crazy. And, you know, I’d literally would just roll out of bed turn on my computer, I was so obsessed with it. But now, I bet at the point where I’ve set boundaries for myself where I don’t have my email on my phone, I don’t you know, like, I have different days for different things. And that helps me to stay on task because otherwise, I’m just like a workaholic. I will just get in there and and work you know. And sometimes like you said, it’s busy work,

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
you know exactly. I love the fact that you’ve mentioned you know, setting boundaries, but that’s something like halfway down the line of start my business I had to really sit down and say you know, it’s definitely waking up early in the morning. First thing you’re doing is to go on your phone, check if you’ve got any emails, go on social media, whatever, wake up in the middle of the night, go my phone again. I’ll just like you know, this is just ridiculous. Yeah, I had to like set boundaries and saw myself to say, Okay, these are the times I’m going to work out you have to turn off all notifications on my phone for my social media, or my emails even till now. You have to go into my email to see my email. And like my Instagram or my Facebook, I have to go into them. Right? I have notifications rather than before Oh, I’ve got notification. Oh, you know it was.

Rita Suzanne
So it’s so you’re so reactive, right you’re like, and then like, let’s say that you do wake up and you’re everything is going great. And then somebody sends you an email, and it can just change the whole mood of your entire day and you know, just really takes away from your overall, I guess, feeling Yeah, everything. Yeah, sure. So, um, so then what are your top tips for helping someone maintain like a healthier mindset? Because that’s what we all need?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yeah. So number one, I think we’ve touched on that already is setting boundaries with people around you. And especially when you are starting to make a transition, there are going to be people that support you that that are not used to this transition that you’re about to make soon, you need to protect your energy, right? Otherwise, that’s where your self doubt is going to creep in, you are going to open the doors to all your negative thoughts, because you know, this person is telling you, what makes you fake, you know, display,

Rita Suzanne
they start questioning, right?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
So when you set those boundaries, that you know what, I’m not going to discuss my business or setting people, you know, you’re not opening door for them to give their feedback because you don’t need it.

Rita Suzanne
No, I agree with that. Because I can’t even tell you how many people you know, my mom, my mother on my ex mother in law, my ex husband, both of my ex husbands, you know, you should just go get a regular job because they don’t understand the work that is involved with being an entrepreneur, you know, and so if I’m, if I’m just talking to you, and I’m, you know, saying, what should I do about this like that you shouldn’t, you know, bounce the ideas off with them, because they are not really in the same mindset as you. And they’re just going to tell you look, this sounds hard, you need to just walk away. You know that, okay? Yeah. Because in their mind, they’re like, it’s it, they want to help you be, I guess better by getting that job. And you’re like, Well, wait a minute, I don’t want that job. I want to do these things instead.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Because they see the easiest way, you know,

Rita Suzanne
the security, right? The security, and, and all of that stuff. But we’re like, you know, I guess living on the edge. We want that up and down. Right?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Exactly. The ride is a roller coaster ride.

Rita Suzanne
Yeah. So tell us just a little bit about like, what is your, like a typical day for you?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
typical day for me right now is so I the night before I go into my diary. And you know, look at what I have planned for the next day, basically, right. And then in the mornings, it’s usually getting ready for getting the school getting school stuff ready. Blah, blah, blah, whatever he needs to do with school. And the Monday to Wednesday is my husband helps out with his homeschooling. So from about 10 o’clock, that’s when I start looking at my emails. And I usually don’t have any calls book books until after one o’clock. 1pm my time. Yeah. So I have the morning just to get everything ready that I need to do read any emails respond, any correspondence rate for any client work I need to read through, right. And yeah, and then in the afternoon, if I have clients, I will have my coaching calls, if I don’t have clients, and it’s usually like networking calls. Right? Or, you know, doing like sales or marketing activity. Depending on the day of the week. I have different things for different days like those.

Rita Suzanne
Yeah, I mean, that’s better. Right? Yeah.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
And then we have you know, lunchtime, so the kids at once again. I have a break for myself. Yeah. Then client work and I usually start winding down to about 4pm. And then I have late calls for like my American clients. Right, right. Yeah. Where my kids are asleep. Yeah, yeah. I kind of do my schedule around them everybody else right

Rita Suzanne
and your and your clients and who you can Yeah, exactly stuff too. Yeah. Especially like you said, if they’re in a different timezone that can sometimes be a challenge.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Yes, sir. Yeah, so that’s usually what my typical workday is, like, not too hectic and usually around, you know, what I have going on the kids and my clients as well, their needs. And I also tried to have all my clients cause on one day read, I don’t have to spread myself thin every day. I think I’ve got cause and I have to Worry about childcare and all that. So at least I know this day dedicated crew.

Rita Suzanne
I do my same thing I do that, because I used to make myself more available. But when I have like, let’s say that I have two or three calls that day, like I’m pretty outgoing, but you know, an extroverted, but then once I have like all these calls, I feel so drained. Like I feel unproductive after like, I can’t do anything. So that’s why I’ve really just blocked off Thursdays as my day for all my calls. And you know, everything else will end there leaking over into Fridays now, but it’s not. And that’s okay. Because Friday, you know, the weekend, and then I get some time off. Exactly. And I like to do a thing, where, at the end of the month, I don’t do any calls at all, the last week of the month, I don’t do any calls just to allow myself to, I guess, catch up on things. And you know, to kind of recuperate from all of that stuff. Like, you know, it’s just, I think that as you like, as you mentioned, like as you you get into your business, you really just find out what’s gonna work for you. Yeah. Because, like, over summer, when my kids aren’t in school, my business is so different. You know, it’s, it’s completely different. I try to work as hard as I can during the school year. Yeah. Which, you know, this year has obviously been a challenge. Yeah, um, but yeah, I try to end then on the summer, it’s just way more lacks, you know, because we’re outside, and we’re going places and we’re doing things. So I think, you know, it’s just really about finding that in, you know, that balance, I guess. But I know how much I hate to say that.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
There’s no such thing as balance. It’s just finding out what works for you. I think that’s what it is. Right? Because

Rita Suzanne
I used to I used to work just non stop. And then I knew it would be like a random Tuesday, and I’m laying on the couch watching TV. And I’m like, oh, shoot, I Oh, god later, you know. So, you know, I think it’s just really about finding what works for you. And just being realistic about what’s involved with your business. Because it’s not just about the service that you have. Right. Like you mentioned, it’s about networking. I have to do all these things. I have to mean, yeah. And a lot of times that’s, that’s the hard part, you know. That is the hard part. For me anyway, that’s the hard part. Yeah, cuz that’s not the thing. Like, isn’t it? Like I started this business so that I could do this. I didn’t know that I had to do all these other things, too. Yeah. So. So if someone wants to find you online, where it where can they find you? And what’s you know, where are you hanging out?

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
I am on Instagram to find me on Instagram, and Stephanie Gabrielle at coaching. I am on there. I do also have a Facebook group, where you create creating a community of moms. And so it’s actually called confident female bosses. But most of the time, you can find me on Instagram, shoot me a DM. And yeah, I always love meeting other moms, even moms in business. I love networking as well. Right?

Rita Suzanne
Right. I love that you’re spending time even you know, doing the coffee chats and stuff. Those can be you know, so nice. And it’s so fun to connect with other moms, which I think was my intention was starting this with so that I could connect with other moms because I have single friends who are entrepreneurs as well. And you know, I think that I love them and everything, but they don’t really understand what it’s like how we’re juggling all of these things. They’re just like, Oh, yeah, I just spent six hours sitting down and doing my thing. And I’m just like, Damn, that must be nice.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
Really nice. Yeah. As mompreneurs we’re always under God, there’s always something going on.

Rita Suzanne
Exactly. And if we’re lucky enough to get two hours of uninterrupted work time, then we just make the best of it. Right? Well, Stephanie has been so nice meeting you. And I’m so glad that you could take some time out and in chat with us and tell us all about you and your business.

Stefanie Oseni-Momodu
My absolute pleasure has been so nice to have you with us. Oh, I really enjoyed the conversation.

Rita Suzanne
And there you have it. I want to encourage you to remember that being a mom who runs her own business is not easy. we all struggle but just keep moving forward and don’t forget to make time for yourself. As moms we are usually the first thing to go to the bottom of the list. If your business is overwhelming you and you need real solutions, not just some sugar coated suggestions apply to work with me at ritasuzanne.com/apply/