Reinventing Yourself After Challenging Times with Sonia Lopez

SPEAKERS
Rita Suzanne, Sonia Lopez

Rita Suzanne
Welcome to the mom owned and operated podcast, the podcast about moms and for moms, where we have candid conversations about running a business, raising a family, and remembering ourselves. I’m your host, Rita Suzanne, a single mom of four, digital strategist and provider of no nonsense business strategies and tactics. Hi, this is Mom Owned and Operated. I am Rita Suzanne. And this is Sonia Lopez. And today, we’re just going to talk real candidly about what it’s like to be a mom and have your own business. Sonia, can you please tell us a little bit about yourself? Sure.

Sonia Lopez
Thank you, Rita, for having me on your podcast. So I am an energy empowerment and manifestation coach and a mom and a wife and a daughter. I have been coaching for about 11 years. And my business has ebbed and flowed. I took a little break some time ago when I became sick. And I also got a corporate job. But I’m back to coaching and I’d love to share with with everyone the truth behind the veil.

Rita Suzanne
So when you were working in corporate, what were you doing? Exactly?

Sonia Lopez
So my background before I became a coach was in human resources. Yeah, so I went back to work in humans to do that, too. So

Rita Suzanne
it’s so it’s so different, right? Because the mindset being in human resources, or even in corporate is you have to really follow these, you know, guidelines of what everybody thinks is the right thing to do. Right.

Sonia Lopez
Yeah, you know, it’s interesting for me, because I actually had this conversation with a friend the other day. Because for me, human resources always was about the people that employees and nowadays in corporate, it’s more about, like what you just said, right? rules. And you know, this is what it is. And that’s probably why I didn’t last in corporate. Right, right, because I’m meant to be an entrepreneur.

Rita Suzanne
Yeah. So you and I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’m glad everything is good. But I would love to know like, what your story is of like, how you got into coaching, and you know how manifesting works and tell us all the things.

Sonia Lopez
Yeah, so I have always been a person who’s very interested in what most most people call woowoo stuff, because my mom studied metaphysics when I was very little. So I was always into the law of attraction, the law of vibration, all these things that are really science base, but most people think they’re just like, you know, Eric,

Rita Suzanne
because they see the, you know, the standard societal standards, right. And that’s not doesn’t fall within it.

Sonia Lopez
Absolutely. Like the vision boards, and the gratitude journals and all that, which are awesome. I love all of them. Yeah, they really are. And I always say to people, you know, if it works for you, fine. But I’ll, I’ll share a little bit about my story. And, and you’ll see why I shifted the way I teach manifestation from what the mainstream teaches, because it can be so much more richer, and a profound transformation can happen as a result of it. So yeah, so I became a coach after, you know, I was home with my kids were little at the time. And I always had this feeling like from the time they were about, like, maybe he, maybe they were like five and seven. And I had this feeling of like, my purpose is greater than this. I was home with them. And I was happy to be home with them mothering them, but I knew there was something bigger for me. I just didn’t know what that was. But you know, you have that feeling. Right? Like, yeah, and then in 2009, my mom passed away suddenly. And that kind of became my wake up call. I was like, you know, life is pretty short. And you don’t know what’s going to happen. So that was the catalyst for me to start setting the wheels in motion to seeing what I wanted to create in my life. Right. And so I hired a life coach, and I worked with him for six months, and my life took off. And having had that background in human resources, I love working with people so I set forth on getting my life coach certification and became a coach and started building my business while my kids were little because

Rita Suzanne
even though that wasn’t even your your intention when you signed up for the life coaching,

Sonia Lopez
not at all, I just love the results I got I thought wow, I love helping people. I can be home while I build my business. I can still be home with my kids. It’s a win win, right? So I started doing that and you know, it was all going well. It’s it’s would definitely work to be an entrepreneur as I’m sure you know. And in then in 2014 I started to get sick, and I would go to doctors and they couldn’t find what was wrong with me and it just became this this Like unraveling of trying to figure out, I was really tired. And really, you might even say it was like depression. But they didn’t diagnose me as depressed. It was very strange. And then in 2015, I went through another life transition with the new marriage. And we separated and I decided to get a job before financial security, right? Well, in that job, St. I was still going through the process of figuring out my healing. And then in 2016, my husband and I got back together. And I was still working. But the universe has started to show me the way out, like, I didn’t belong there. And when I say show me, I mean, like things were happening, that I kept rationalizing to tolerate.

Rita Suzanne
Back on him, you you realize they were signs or even or in the moment, did you realize, well, no, because you’re rationalizing them.

Sonia Lopez
I didn’t realize it. And also I was. So to give you an idea, what ended up happening is I was diagnosed with five autoimmune conditions that my nervous system had was depleted. So when your nervous system is depleted, you don’t really have a filter, when you’re going through, like what I call the shitstorm. And so that’s why I was using the rat the rationalizing to tolerate because I needed it was like my survival mechanism, right. And so finally, in Oh, in the midst of that, really amazing things, even though I was still working in corporate and depressed, like sick and depressed. So I started to question the mainstream manifestation of like, positive thinking and right, you know, and, and I went down the rabbit hole of neuroscience, better understanding the mind body connection, because I also am certified as a yoga teacher and understand a lot about the nervous system. So the manifestation of these big things opened me up to believe that, well, if I manifested these things, while I’m going through this turmoil, I can also manifest my healing. Yeah. And once that happened, then and I had the realization, then the universe started to conspire to help me even further. right, the pieces of the puzzle to my healing. And all of this happened within a span of four years. So it’s not like things just fall on your lap. I want to make that clear for everybody. Because again, manifestation can get that like that, you know, people think that Oh, like, yeah, I found the parking spot, you know? No, this was this was grueling. And so then in 2018, again, I was getting the signs about leaving the job and getting signs about my healing. And in 2018, something happened at work that was just like, no, yeah. I remember having this really profound inner peace. Have I got to cut the cord here. This is it. And I did. And then that’s it. That’s it. That moment I went in the next day, I resigned immediately. And that was it. And I took a leap into the unknown.

Rita Suzanne
I love it. So you, during that transition period, you were not working with clients, you were just focusing on your corporate stuff and your kids. And I mean, understandably, right? Yeah. But you felt the calling back to coaching. Because during that whole time, even though you couldn’t really focus on it,

Sonia Lopez
I had, I had put coaching on hold, because since I was not feeling well, and I was depleted, I didn’t want to coach from that energetic space, I get it. Yeah, I want it to really serve fully to my clients. And so I put it on hold for that reason. And but at the end of 2018, so I quit my job in middle of 2018. And at the end of 2018, I went back to the doctor. Now remember, I had gotten all the pieces of the puzzle for my healing, including one of the doctors that I worked with. And he and I worked together to create a protocol that would help me and then at the end of 2018, when I went back to the doctor to do the test, all of my numbers came back normal.

Rita Suzanne
Love it. Yeah, that’s awesome. And you know, the mind is so powerful, right, like, and I think that people underestimate how powerful it is plus in addition to the other things that you were doing,

Sonia Lopez
yeah, but you know what, Rita what I love to add here when you when you talk about the mind, what was really important because what I uncovered, remember I said before that when I was in the shitstorm, I manifested those amazing things that didn’t just come from thinking because I wasn’t thinking positively. I was thinking very negatively right came from my belief system, which is the subconscious mind.

Rita Suzanne
I would love for you to tell us more about that and the manifesting in general because I love your perspective is that it’s so different than what normal people are I don’t want saying, okay, just scratch that part.

Sonia Lopez
Yeah, yeah, no. Like I say it’s all good. And but but and what I’m finding is that people, either what happens with manifestation is either they give up quickly because the things aren’t happening, you’re doing all the things, I’m writing my affirmations, I’m doing this, I’m doing that, but the things aren’t coming. And then that tells me that there’s either a belief that isn’t in alignment, and I don’t care how many affirmations you write, if the belief is not there, the affirmations won’t work.

Rita Suzanne
Right. And as you’re saying stuff in your mind, like, That’s bullshit anyway,

Sonia Lopez
it’s like you’re sprinkling glitter on shit, right? Now, it just looks pretty.

Rita Suzanne
Right, exactly.

Sonia Lopez
So and then the other part of the manifestation that I realized was the emotional part, the feeling. So it’s not the thoughts are great. But if you don’t have the feeling to back up the thoughts, you’re not emanating the energy because that when I talk about manifestation, we’re manifesting every day, every day, creating your life, whether it consciously or unconsciously, that’s up to you. I, when I talk about manifestation, I’m talking about using the law of attraction and the law of vibration to call in and to co create with the universe, right.

Rita Suzanne
So it works as a whole versus, you know, just this one thing or one piece, because I know that I’ve heard other people say that, you know, 80% of our thoughts are negative, which, and subconsciously, we don’t even realize that they’re negative. And by doing the affirmations and stuff, it’s almost like you’re calling in or retraining your brain. But like you said, it’s not just that one thing, it has to be in a whole,

Sonia Lopez
right? Yeah, you have to you have to align the thought with the emotion. That’s how you start to really shift the pathway in the brain, the neural pathway happens as a result of a chemical release in the brain. And that’s what the emotion is, emotions are chemical releases of the brain. So when you release the chemicals by feeling, right, like if I say to you, Aretha, you’re a millionaire. And you’re just sitting there like, bullshit, right? Yeah. It sound like, oh, Rita, you’re gonna make $5,000. Next week, you’re like, I can subscribe to that and you start to feel excited about it, then the chemical release in the brain starts to happen, the release enters the cells, and your bodies would emanate the energy out to call it and

Rita Suzanne
I love all of that. And it’s so true, because it’s more believable and attainable, right to believe that I can make $5000 versus that I am a millionaire at this point. Because I know I’m not

Sonia Lopez
exact. Your subconscious knows you’re not right. Oh, my whole body my whole being No, right. Right. And so yeah, so the idea is to just create that alignment, little by little, because again, it’s all related to the nervous system in our brain. And, you know, if your nervous system isn’t prepared to receive these big things that you’re wanting to call in, you can do all the work, the outer work, but if your inner landscape, it doesn’t match that.

Rita Suzanne
Right? So is your advice then for other women to like, start smaller with the with? What What would you recommend for someone who’s somebody who’s new at this?

Sonia Lopez
Yes, start with the affirmations. But make them make them relatable to you. Like, you know, maybe you don’t write today, I’m a millionaire, but you write something more, more relatable. And, and it doesn’t have to be completely realistic. Because part of it is yeah, you’re going to grow in this process, and you want to go to the edge of your comfort zone. You want to go you feel a little like, oh, comfortable, right? Yeah, that’s exciting and uncomfortable at the same time.

So yeah,

Sonia Lopez
I would say start there. And definitely, if you’re not manifesting it, maybe you’re somebody who’s been, you know, doing it a little bit and you’re getting starting to get frustrated to those people, I would say, check in with your belief system, right? check in and all you have to do honestly, the subconscious mind communicates to us especially in in our sleep, all you have to do is ask it, what am I am I believing about this? That is not allowing me to call it in? Right. And and that I call them downloads, or the synchronicities or somebody will say something and you’ll be like, Oh, that’s a sign I get it. It’s all kind of like, it’s super cool the way it happens, but you’ll start to get your answers. Yeah,

Rita Suzanne
isn’t the end. That’s funny, because before we started, I was telling you all about how my dreams have shifted, since I’ve become an entrepreneur. And, you know, because you learn so much about yourself as a whole being an entrepreneur, even though that it’s hard. You know, I think that you grow as a person and continue to grow. And so I love that you’re saying because I do feel like when I wake up sometimes like I’ve had a dream about something and I’m like, oh, okay, like it’s my like if I’m having an issue I wake up and I feel, you know, better. I feel like there’s a resolution.

Sonia Lopez
Absolutely, there’s our that’s why I call it the inner landscape, because there’s so much wisdom in that. And there, I mean, we could go down this rabbit hole of like even exploring your shadows, which are those parts of ourselves the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like to show the world. There’s magic in that energy too, and exploring those dark parts and, and putting them into the light in a way that’s very, that ushers you from a place of safety, not from a place of like ripping a band aid, that you can actually use that energy to alchemize and become magnetic to manifestations.

Rita Suzanne
So what do you think is the biggest, like what’s stopping women from doing this manifest manifestation and other works, to grow?

Sonia Lopez
Fear growing, and that they think it’s a one and done. So I say to people, if you’re if you’re manifesting everyday, you think about it, if every day, look at it as like you’re you’re the projector and your life in front of you is the movie screen, right? And you’re projecting out the same reality over and over, because you’re not taking the time to point the needle in the direction of where you want your life to go. It’s just much easier to get up and just, I call it Groundhog’s Day, like, do the same thing over that you’ve always been taught that you worked on. But if you start to shift that it’s a little scary, because it means that you’re going to have to change and you know, this is an entrepreneur, that we’re always shape shifting and changing. So the number one is fear. And number two, is that you’re not looking at manifestation as a practice, you’re looking at it as a fix.

Rita Suzanne
That’s true. And I feel like a lot of people they give up really fast when they do start manifesting. So I love that you’re saying, look, this is a long game. This is not, you know, like you said, one and done. You have to give it to time and build in as you go on your belief system is going to adjust.

Sonia Lopez
Expand. Yeah. And it’s a it’s not only a long game, it’s a lifestyle. Yeah. I love you can in fact create, yeah, create your reality.

Rita Suzanne
So for someone just starting out, like what would you say like is the your number one tip like, this is what you need to do to start today? To start manifesting? I know, it’s like, per person based, but what what is your recommendation? I lost you for a second, we’re back.

Sonia Lopez
Oh, there you are. So what I would say to them is be willing to look at your life, all of it. And that can be scary too. Because sometimes we don’t want to face our shit. Sometimes there’s stuff that we’re just kind of like sweeping under the rug, you know, I particularly love using a tool that allows me to see every area of life. And then I rate myself like on a scale of one to 10 how satisfied am I and fulfilled in each area 10 being super happy and rate yourself and then the parts that you’re you rate yourself like six or below ask yourself, Well, why am I six or below what needs to change? And that’s it, start there, and maybe set some goals for the ones that you’re not satisfied in?

Rita Suzanne
Okay, so being a mom and running your own business, what how are you managing all you know, I don’t balancing all of the things time for you time for your family time for your, you know, business.

Sonia Lopez
I don’t believe in balance. I mean, my kids are older, they’re they’re grown men practically. But they still, you know, like to like to bother mom once in a while and not really bother, but they still want to need me. Right. And I To be honest, I fall into like, Oh, they need me. I think it’s important to understand that to take the pressure off that that there is no such thing as balanced that sometimes things will have to give way. Yeah. And and so the key there is check in with those feelings of guilt, which moms often feel because guilt is a very heavy energy that blocks your your manifesting magnetism. And give yourself some grace. Yeah. And knowing that you can never truly fully have balance. Well, yeah, you have a support.

Rita Suzanne
Right? Because there are some some things that just need more attention or, you know, at different periods of time. So there’s no real way to really equal it out. But, you know, a lot of times I think that moms will, with not take care of themselves in order to take care of others or their business comes first and they just continue to fall by the wayside. And then years down the line. They’re like I don’t understand why I’m so unhappy.

Sonia Lopez
Yeah, so what I would say to that, and that is one part that cannot be amiss on this journey is Put yourself first. And I know that sounds trite because you’re probably hear it over and over. But um and the funny thing is, is that when you do put yourself first and it could be three habits in the morning that that’s all like drink your water, move your body and meditate or whatever it is for you. Yeah, commit to those three habits like your life depends on it. And it can be changing like fluctuating habits that will help you fill your bucket so that you can then serve others. But it cannot be any other way. Because you’ll end up like that. I believe that’s one of the reasons I got very sick,

Rita Suzanne
right? Because you’re focused on everybody else, right? Yeah, absolutely. So if someone wants to hire you or find you online, where can we find you?

Sonia Lopez
So they can find me I’m very active on Instagram at Sonya Lopez coach, that’s so and i a lpz coach. And if they want to go to my website to learn how to work with me, and I also have a free manifesting meditation that I offer, they can go to Sonia Lopez coaching calm. So si lpz coaching calm,

Rita Suzanne
and I will leave the long lead the links to everything below. So thank you so much, Sonia, for taking the time out and telling us all about manifesting and how like how we can incorporate this to create a little bit of balance or at least, you know, to grow and move forward.

Rita Suzanne

And there you have it. I want to encourage you to remember that being a mom who runs her own business is not easy. we all struggle but just keep moving forward and don’t forget to make time for yourself. As moms we are usually the first thing to go to the bottom of the list. If your business is overwhelming you and you need real solutions, not just some sugar coated suggestions apply to work with me at ritasuzanne.com/apply/